she liked Imaginary Men best of all


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I am Elaine Benes

I know at one point I was sure I was Liz Lemon but after two years of repeated exposure to Seinfeld (and a newfound appreciation of the awesomeness that is Julia Louis-Dreyfus) I realize I am a bit of an Elaine Benes.

You know Elaine “Get OUT” Benes?:

And her Sweet, Fancy Moses “dance”:

Catching the frequent repeats (my boyfriend is a big fan) as an adult I now recognize my similarities to Elaine in ways I never noticed when I was 20 years younger and hadn’t had a real job, dating life or my own apartment yet. There’s something in her snarky, exasperated, self-absorbed ridiculousness that I often now think “YES! THAT IS ME!”

For example recently at work there have been various occasions for colleagues to send out thank-you cards after the passing of a parent, the departure of an intern, etc. Last week after finding two different cards on my desk (that I just have to check-off on reading and pass along) I burst into an Elaine-esque rant about waiting all month to combine the cards and then pass along one envelope full. It was eerily close to Elaine’s disgust with her office finding a reason to celebrate any little thing with cake and a song:

Yes, I was actually COMPLAINING ABOUT PEOPLE BEING GRACIOUS like Elaine was pissed about having to eat cake with her colleagues all the time! And in a true case of Life Imitating the 90’s: just like Elaine in the classic episode “The Contest” I too once worked out at the same time with John F. Kennedy Jr. at my fancy gym! But apparently I am not alone in feeling a connection to the Queen of the Castle as Buzzfeed has also addressed how We Are All Elaine Benes.


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Oh my god I’m back again!

Sooooo – long time, no blog yet apparently people are still coming here to read old posts which is pretty cool considering I haven’t posted anything in almost 15 months!

When I left you I was swooning about The World’s Best Boyfriend who, I’m happy to report is still fulfilling that role. I still love me some Imaginary Men but of course spending time with a Real Guy does take away from my sitting-up-all-night-blogging-time (so does a new wake-up call of 6AM – ACK!)

What else? Oh I just, you know – bought a house. Yes after several years of commitment phobia I went and got a relationship AND a mortgage within a year of each other. You would think I am a GROWN-UP or something!

Don't you love my new house?? (this is not my new house)

Don’t you love my new house?? (this is not my new house)

So plenty of energy that used to be dedicated to fantasizing about Pacey’s Pea Coats or Dreamy Vampire Brothers has been funneled into really sexy thoughts like bathroom remodels, caulking tools and home heating conversions (I know, I know – my life is VERY VERY COOL. Control yourself.)

And I guess some of my interests have changed and my need to write about them obsessively waned. I think that’s normal and I certainly still love a lot of things that are on this site (I’m looking at you Dowager Countess) and have discovered new interests because that’s what life is about – you grow and change and some things make the cut and some don’t.

I do have a confession to make and that is that I may now be less your Fun Sassy Girlfriend and more your Fun Sassy Grandma. The evidence: this winter I read two biographies of Frank Sinatra (speaking of obsessions – HOW could we not see Ronan Farrow is CLEARLY his kid?!) I got hooked on listening to the Cole Porter station on Pandora and when I saw The Fault in our Stars instead of getting all swoony for teen dream boat Augustus I kept thinking, “can we spend more time with Hazel’s parents? Because they seem really fun and awesome.” I’d like to think it was just residual feelings for Sam Trammell now that I’ve missed the last few seasons of True Blood – but I think it’s because I’m Your Grandma and Laura Dern seems really fun to hang out with (even when she’s pretending her daughter is dying of cancer so bravo for that specialized talent!)

But! I quoted the Backstreet Boys up above AND just saw them in concert (and got to keep my  Concert Bitch in check) and because Boy Bands are Never Not Awesome. I have some fun news coming up in the next week so I hope you’ll welcome me back into the big wide blogging world and that I remember how to link shit 🙂

 


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Poehler/Fey 2016!!!!!

Bitches get stuff DONE!

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And how awesome were these kick ass bitches hosting the Golden Globes!?? My fave gossip blogger Lainey summed up what made them so great: their camaraderie, fearlessness and incredible timing. But what I also love about these women is that they are Grown-Ups. They were not child stars or jailbait-y starlets who are emotionally stunted, immature and entitled. They went to college, they had real life jobs, they had lives before fame and it shows in their work ethic and their commitment to being as smart and funny as they possibly can be.

And on top of it all – Real! Life! BFFs! Two women who are at the top of their games professionally and support one another and work together as beautifully as peanut butter and jelly – no backstabbing, cat fighting or undermining like you see among women all over the entertainment world. LOVE THEM!

Hell, I’d vote for them even if they were running in character as Clinton/Palin 🙂


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Ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party because a Liz Lemon Party is MANDATORY!

I recently had a very fun cake-themed birthday from which I am still recovering from my cake-hangover!

Among the many amazing, creative, thoughtful, sweet things I received was this card from the Awesome Jill which is only my favorite Liz Lemon moment EVER!!

This is my second favorite:

 


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Mama said knock you out!

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I am totally like Liz Lemon in that 30Rock episode where she rewards herself for working out by eating a cupcake. Or, this:

But despite all that – I’m going to start taking boxing lessons! I’ve wanted to try it for awhile because “Cardio Kickboxing” has been the only group aerobics class I’ve ever had any abilities in (yes, I know dancing around to techno and punching the air is not the same as boxing!)

It is supposed to be a great workout and my friend is teaching me one-on-one which means she’ll make me work a lot harder than the half-assed weight lifting I do on my own. I’m a little disappointed I won’t be taping my hands up and using gloves instead but it’s balanced by my excitement at the prospect of hitting things.


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I Want to Go to There (tm Liz Lemon)

Honeymoon Beach, St. Johns USVI:

I took this picture when I was there in 2005 and if this winter doesn’t fucking end soon I am GOING BACK THERE AND NEVER RETURNING TO NEW ENGLAND!! DO YOU HEAR ME MOTHER NATURE??!!

Ahem. Sorry. In my (nearly) entire life living in this part of the country I have never experienced a winter this bad and it just needs to STOP RIGHT FREAKIN’ NOW I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING!!!!

Yeah. I think you get my point.