she liked Imaginary Men best of all


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Say, that’s swell!

I know I mentioned earlier in the summer that I Am Your Grandma but really I’ve had a little bit o’ granny in me for a long time. When I was a teenager I got into old movies and fell in love with Fred and Ginger movies. You know the ones – the romance, the dancing, the glamorous sets and stunning evening wear:

There was a famous quote that he gave her class and she gave him sex appeal (there’s an even better quote from Ann Richards: “…Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels!”) and these movies were made to lift spirits during the Depression. But they are timeless in that they lift spirits over 70 years later. Astaire and Rogers films never fail to put a smile on my face – there’s predictable plots (lots of mistaken identity and boy-meets-girl-girl-hates-boy scenarios) and of course a bit of sexism but they are still essentially escapist fantasies.

In these films women were dames and men tried not to be heels. People got sore at one another and “gosh!” was the harshest exclamation. Isn’t there something so refreshing about that sort of simplicity? Before movies became dark and complicated, filled with explosives, sex and violence – there were people who danced their cares away and expressed their feelings to a delightful melody:

“Long as I can be with you, it’s a lovely day” HOW PERFECT IS THAT??

Fred was always seducing with dance, Ginger was always reluctantly falling for him and they were surrounded by a cast of characters who either conspired with them, or against them, were romantic rivals or bumbling idiots (I need to take a moment to rant about Randolph Scott in Follow the Fleet because this guy was a dick, OK? Lantern-Jawed-All-American “Bilge” – yes – BILGE! first ignores Ginger’s sister Connie when she wears glasses and isn’t a looker. Then she gets all dolled up and suddenly he’s in love! But then he ships out after promising to return to her aaaaand romances other women when he’s away. Meanwhile Connie refurbishes her father’s boat so when Bilge returns as a Captain he can sail it after they’re married. HOWEVER stupid Bilge has other non-Connie related romantic interests UNTIL he hears about the boat and then he’s back calling her “baby” again and generally making me shake my fists at the screen. Annoying Boy Shit existed always.)

But enough about THAT. What matters is that Fred was never less than impeccably tailored and Ginger had dresses that flowed like they were made of magic threads and everybody went to nightclubs with little lamps on the tables and there was always a happy ending and I’m so glad this thing of beauty exists in the world:

And just once in my life I WISH I could leave a room like this!

(If you’d like any recommendations from Grandma – I suggest The Gay Divorcee or Top Hat which these clips are from and are Astaire and Rogers films at the very pinnacle of what made them perfect.)

 


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A girl walks into a bar…

Today I discovered the feature on Facebook that lets you look at an archive of your old posts and status updates. I randomly selected April 2012 and scanned through to see that I sure posted a lot about food, Downton Abbey and Ewan McGregor!

I also found a status I posted on a day I clearly remember for a very important reason:

I have been so useless today. I’m supposed to go out now even though I’d rather go to bed, I’m so exhausted by my uselessness ;-p

That Saturday is still very vivid in my mind: I wasted a lot of time doing nothing at my apartment. Then I went grocery shopping and in the parking lot I ordered out and picked up my dinner on my way home (I was too lazy to cook what I just bought!) then I got comfy on my couch eating take-out and catching up on my DVR. I was due to go see my friend’s band at 10PM and that’s probably near when I posted this.

I really did NOT want to go but I was a single girl with no good excuse to bail on seeing friends on a Saturday night. The gig was about 5 minutes from my house and I could be home in two hours tops.

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And that’s what happened – despite being cranky and texting on my phone a cute guy bravely walked up to me to say hi and introduced himself and like that – my life changed forever. I would have missed out on meeting The World’s Best Boyfriend and nearly a year’s worth of discovering what it really means to meet that one person who is your perfect fit because I thought getting out of comfy pants and away from Revenge was too much effort.

Earlier that same month I posted a quote from The World’s Ultimate TV Boyfriend, Mr. Pacey Witter:

You want to know something Miss Josephine Potter? I think the world just may surprise you yet. I mean you fall in love, and it doesn’t work out, you think it will never happen, but it does, believe me it does, in the strangest of places.

So what’s my lesson here? 1. Always Listen to Pacey!! and 2. Get off your ass and make things happen. Sweet, handsome, loving, supportive-of-your-Boy-Band-obsession-bring-you-cookies-and-make-you-dinner-guys don’t just knock on your door and ask if you’re available!! You have to do the work and put in the time and sometimes whether it’s a project, job, goal or a boy – really lovely things happen.

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He’s real and he’s spectacular!

So the last few years I’ve had all this trouble with Stupid Real Life Boys. And of course I have a lot of Imaginary Boyfriends. But something funny happened recently – I got myself a Real Live Not At All Douchey and in Fact Totally Amazing Real Life Boyfriend!! I KNOW!! RIGHT?!??

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Just how amazing is he? Well he walked into my 16 Year Old Girl Bedroom home office which contains (among other things): an enormous Brandon Flowers poster, Backstreet Boys nesting dolls, Vampire Diaries paraphenalia, and a Wall of Men 3.0 – and instead of turning on his heels and running he exclaimed with utter enthusiasm:

This is awesome!

Did you hear that? It was my heart having joyful palpitations 😉

And he doesn’t bat an eye at my crazy shenanigans of chasing bands and obsessing on TV shows! He even offered to see Magic Mike with me! AND he said with absolutely no prompting whatsoever – that if a Backstreet Boys museum existed “I would go with you.” Did you get that part? How I didn’t even ask that?!? (and for the record – why doesn’t that exist goddamnit?!? I already have a date for it!)

I feel like anytime I talk about him I turn into a total gushing girlie. He’s a bit of a fanboy himself about movies and directors – breathlessly calling the night he got to meet one of his directing idols, “the best night of my life” which I took as one of the signs we were on the same wavelength about the stuff we love. He’s so great and he’s CUTE! Let me just say that his celebrity doppelganger is someone we like to call Jake Gyllenhaal:

Laugh it up Jake – you’ve been replaced!

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A friend of mine said, “you’ve obsessed so much on imaginary men that it’s almost like you dreamed him up!” And if it weren’t for the fact that she and other people have also seen/heard/observed that he is indeed a real guy and not one in my head – it makes this exchange from last week all the sweeter:

Setting: Save a Prayer by Duran Duran is on TV

Me: That’s my husband John Taylor

Him: Hi John Taylor!

Me: I mean, you don’t have to worry because I’ve been waiting for him to marry me since I was 13 – but if he WERE to show up – I would have to leave you

Him: OK. You should tweet him and tell him he’s your husband

Me: DON’T THINK I HAVEN’T TRIED!!!!

Even better – one found me that thinks I’m perfect the way I am – in all my Crazy Fangirl Glory and really, what more can one ask for?


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Happy Galentine’s Day!!!

Sure it’s almost Valentine’s Day, but even better – today is GALENTINE’S DAY!!!!

What is Galentine’s Day? Why it’s Leslie Knope’s favorite holiday of the year!:

Every February 13th my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home and we just come and kick it breakfast style – ladies celebrating ladies. It’s like Lilith Fair, minus the angst. Plus fritattas!

I love this! So much so that this year I’ve decided to celebrate by creating my very first Someecards! Please pass along to your lady friends and celebrate the joy of girlfriends – boyfriends can wait until tomorrow 😉

I made this!!

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Here’s some tips from the lady herself to plan your very own Galentine’s Day celebration!


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Girls I want to hang out with: Mindy Kaling edition

I recently read Mindy Kaling’s book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (and other concerns). Mindy is a writer on The Office and plays celebrity/boy/fashion obsessed Kelly Kapoor on the show. She’s an amusing writer and a bit like Tina Fey’s little sister that you could actually-hang-out-with-while-you-mooned-around-their-house-wishing-cool-big-sis-Tina-would-notice-you-and-think-you’re-cool-enough-to-talk-to.

Mindy tells amusing stories about her childhood and her entry into Hollywood. I admit I’m envious of her pretty damn cool sounding life and career. Sure she has to go do photoshoots where bitchy stylists try to size her out of the posh clothes – but she also gets to go on Conan O’Brien! I feel like I could have had a career similar to hers had I stayed in Los Angeles after college — and had even an ounce of ambition 😉

But what made Mindy so relatable for me was the unifying topic of most women: Men. The dumb stuff they do and the stupid crap we put up with. She has a chapter that should be required reading for single guys everywhere entitled, “Guys Need to Do Almost Nothing to be Great” and includes a handy tips for men like, “Buy a well-fitting peacoat” and “Have one great cologne that’s not from the drugstore.” YES FELLAS PLEASE DO THESE THINGS!

In a chapter called “Non-Traumatic Things That Have Made Me Cry” she recounts a situation I totally TOTALLY recognize – that of meeting a nice, cute guy, having a great date and good enough chemistry to schedule a second date – which he cancels by text as she’s getting ready for the date – then, you guessed it ladies – disappears! See??!?! This kind of Annoying Boy Shit happens to famous girls too!

She also has nailed the difference between “Men and Boys” in a chapter of the same name. I won’t recap it here – go read the book – but I absolutely did a fist pump as I read it. So I really think Mindy and I would get along and have fun bitching about boys and gossiping about celebrities. She’s even written a “Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities” charter and – you know me – I’m all about my girlfriends.

You can follow Mindy on Twitter here (OMG she has Edward Gorey for her wallpaper and I’m A is for Amy Who Fell Down the Stairs!! Call me Mindy!), or hear more of her #MindyWisdom at the hashtag I created. She blogs too! (Mindy be my blog buddy!) And of course, The Office is on NBC Thursday nights.

 


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I am a fighter

If someone has hurt you, pissed you off, frustrated you or even if it’s that shitty little voice in your head that brings you down – I suggest you listen to this song LOUDLY and REPEATEDLY until you’ve shouted that fucker down using these lyrics:

Makes me that much stronger / Makes me work a little bit harder / Makes me that much wiser / So thanks for making me a fighter / Made me learn a little bit faster  / Made my skin a little bit thicker  / Makes me that much smarter / So thanks for making me a fighter

Throw in some punches and not only is it cathartic, but it’s good exercise too! I’ve used this song many times to help me get over toxic people in my life and trust me, it works and your life is better for ridding yourself of them.

But in the end you’ll see YOU WON’T STOP ME

Hell yeah! (get the song here and start cleaning house!)