she liked Imaginary Men best of all

Find your little heart’s desire – and follow it


So I’m going to England today!!!! The last time I was there I was 14 years old, before that about 11 years old. But this will be the first time I can drink in pubs!

I have long wanted to go back to the Britain but hadn’t gotten the chance because there’s always reasons not to do things. But then something happened – I went to see The Killers at Boston Garden in September 2009 and it changed my life. That may sound silly and dramatic but it’s the absolute truth. It’s what set me on the path to going on this trip that I’ve wanted to take for many years but didn’t.

So what happened? I went into a show to see a band I liked. I left completely, utterly, unwaveringly obsessed. The music, the energy, the band, The Brandon – I mean, Sarah was there and she can vouch: he walked on stage and that was it for me. Nothing has been the same since.

Since then I have spent a ton of money and done all sorts of silly and exciting things in the name of fangirliness but what I’ve gained in return is immeasurable: amazing friends – a year ago I didn’t even know Kathryn, now I am flying over an ocean to spend a week with her. Do you know how long I’ve wanted an English friend to visit and exchange care packages with? Basically MY ENTIRE LIFE. And how I have her.

Adventures: I’ve been to Las Vegastwice in a year, New York City even more than that, after London I’ve got Philadelphia and Atlantic City on my plate – two places not that far from me that I’ve never been to before. But I will go to these places to see a show, hear the music, be with my friends who know and love and understand what the music means to all of us.

I don’t know how to  quantify this last part but I guess to best say it is that this year has given me a new understanding of myself. That when I want something enough – I can get it. If it is important to me – I will do the work to make it happen. I will take off on a months notice, I will navigate my way around cities and places I’ve never been before. Sometimes after one of these excursions my best friend Rachel will say, “I don’t know where you get the energy!” and I think “I don’t either!” but when I need it, it’s there and it takes me to all sorts of incredible places and people that before September 2009, weren’t necessarily on my radar.

Some of what I do may seem crazy – actually, some of it IS – but it makes me happy. It gives me a wonderful life full of such incredible friends and love and surprises and music. It’s getting me on a plane in a few hours to fly solo for the first time to another country and spend an insane week with wonderful new friends.

Find your little heart’s desire  – and follow it.

Author: Amy H. Johnson

Amy H. Johnson is the author of The Fangirl Files a memoir about Boy Bands, TV Boyfriends and imaginary betrothals to 80s English pop stars. She prefers to be referred to as a "Cute Famous Boy Aficionado".

6 thoughts on “Find your little heart’s desire – and follow it

  1. Have a brilliant trip and come home and renact it all for me with a british accent-big love Laurie.cheers

  2. You’re an advocate of joy, girl! Have a blast in England – Life doesn’t rewind so go live out loud! See you in AC & PHL.

  3. Really too excited for words, so I’ll paraphrase the great George McFly: “Density brought us together” ;-0

    This time tomorrow we’ll be sat talking FACE TO FACE about how amazing all this is!!! And a few hours later raising several glasses to the man and the band that brought us together!

  4. It’s funny these trips are planned well in advance and then they arrive and you’re like “Where did the time go? IT’S HERE!!!!!!”

    I really hope the UK can handle your brand of obsessing. It’ll be a gift from the States! SO pumped and excited to hear about it and it’s going to be the most memorable trip ever!!!!! And you totally fucking deserve it-2010 was the year of the obsess and the only choice was to live it up in the most awesome way!

    Have loads of fun- I’ll be running the trailer while you girls are tending to the Master 😉

  5. Great post! People will read this and find inspiration!

    I’ve always been a firm beleiver in going after the things I want as well. I recently made a life changing decision a few months ago.

    It’s great that you have that “get up and go.”

    I’m happy to see that you’re checking out Atlantic City. I’ve actually never spent the night there!!

    I love London too. Have some fish and chips for me!

  6. See, now THIS is a memoir that I would read! And, if I was a literary agent, THIS post is the query that would convince me to represent you.

    I can even picture the completed book sitting on that front table in Barnes and Noble . . . You know, the one with the ONLY books anyone ever reads. (Don’t deny it. :)) The cover would feature a picture of you and Brandon, of course (photo lovingly taken with his full approval, by you know who ;)). The memoir could be called, “My Life in Flowers” or “Brandon and Me” or “A Victim De-Flowered.”

    Have an AMAZING trip! Of course, when you return, your readers will absolutely be expecting a blog post, containing all the incriminating photos . . . 😉

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