she liked Imaginary Men best of all

A Dustland Fairytale


Once upon a time 29 years ago in a magical place called Las Vegas, Nevada this little cutie “surprised” his family by arriving over a dozen years after his brother and four sisters.

One day the little boy and his family moved to Utah where, in the height of 80’s Youthful Fashion, he wore this stylish outfit for school pictures while ignoring the lightsaber duel taking place just behind his sweet little face.

But living in that Two Star Town wasn’t enough for this little dreamer, so back to Las Vegas he went as a wide eyed 16-year-old to make his mark in the world and pretend girls didn’t like him, even though that would be impossible unless all the girls in his school were blind.

While making his way to work in his ’92 Geo Metro busing tables at the local casinos, he answered an ad to start a band and very quickly found himself with a record deal. When he wasn’t working or rehearsing he was hanging out in British themed drinking establishments getting suspicious of the extracurriculars of his current paramour.

This band named themselves The Killers and came roaring out of the Nevada desert with big dreams and even bigger ambitions. Singing songs about sex, murder and jealousy and armed with swagger and guyliner – this son of Las Vegas saw a sky full of dreams – and he knew he could fly.

After having great success very quickly, this boy got a little cocky and started picking fights with other bands and getting a reputation for having an attitude about how great his band was. Of course his band was great – but now no one was paying much attention to that fact and preferred discussing his mustache and penchant for western ties.

But this young man didn’t listen to the haters, he knew you gotta be stronger than the story, don’t let it blind you. With millions of records sold and superstar bands inviting him to their stage, he knew his band had ascended to the next level and that hard work, catchy songs, and this face – could get them even farther. Feathers fluttered at his shoulders as his band toured non-stop headlining every festival, answering incessant questions about being Human or Dancer, and honing themselves into an efficient, exciting touring machine.

One day the band said we’re tired, we want to take a break and their loyal subjects wailed and cried, but understood they deserved a little time off after years of hard work. However this fellow Changed his Mind and didn’t want to take a break. After all he was full of lyrics to write, songs to sing, music to perform, and good looks to be admired. Let’s go! he exclaimed but his band hung “Do Not Disturb” signs on their doors.

But these changes ain’t changing him and off he went to the studio to make his very own record. He kept his worshippers on the edge of their seats by feeding little bits of sound and scene until they were whipped into a frenzy that threatened the security of their jobs, their relationships and their all around productivity as members of society.

He understood his kingdom was under siege, and everyone needed him. So he picked a day to share his latest creation with the world – and lo and behold! It coincided with the longest day of the year! Which in fact, was also his birthday! What fortuitous timing!

And oh how they rejoiced and celebrated the birth of this incredibly talented and beautiful man by rushing to iTunes to grace their lives with Crossfire and telling the devil to go back from where he came. There was cake, there were flamingos, and there was much gratitude for his very existence in the world.


We could not love you more!! (but go ahead, try us :-))

The End

Author: Amy H. Johnson

Amy H. Johnson is the author of The Fangirl Files a memoir about Boy Bands, TV Boyfriends and imaginary betrothals to 80s English pop stars. She prefers to be referred to as a "Cute Famous Boy Aficionado".

9 thoughts on “A Dustland Fairytale

  1. Pretty great post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wanted to mention that I’ve
    really enjoyed browsing your weblog posts. After all I will
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  2. This passage is so good it is biblical. Makes me want to say, on the first day God created the gene that would pass through generations and one day create little Brandon. And it was good. 🙂

  3. A totally awesome EPIC and an amazing amount of love, inspiration and dedication and W O R K – a shame he wasn’t able to BE THERE himself for it all, but he would be proud…Everything was OVER THE TOP!
    Better get cracking on LMJ’s birthday extravaganza – it will be his 50th!!

  4. This is and always will be my favorite post of yours. Just brilliant, you rebel diamond. Lovely words for a quite lovely man 😉 xxJen

  5. I want this made into a pop-up book!
    Happy BRFday, everyone!!!

  6. I’m so happy I was there to see this magnficent story come to life. The dedication and love is in the words of this post and I think if he wasn’t too busy bossing around interns working on his social networking sites, he would adore it too!

    A truly stellar post Big Sis, I luv it like Luv It Frozen Custard, the Sam’s Town album/hotel, and Brandon of course ❤

    Happy birthday Brandon!!!! Try not to work TOO hard today and eat some cake too!

  7. Nice! Happy Birthday!!!

  8. Awww! That was so great!! ❤ I loved it!! Happy Birthday Brandon Flowers… and I'm definitely up for the challenge of loving him more. 😉

  9. What a perfectly fabulous dedication for our Birthday Boy ❤

    "He understood his kingdom was under siege, and everyone needed him"
    Oh my aching heart!

    It's beautiful & brought a tear to my eye!

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