Because of this man and this bling:
This was me shopping tonight:
Ooohhh look at the Glitter Balls! Oh a sparkly piggy bank! I need this silver sequined scarf! Ohhhh SHINY!!
I don’t like shiny! I don’t do sparkly! Yet this one shimmies and shakes his way into my life four months ago and suddenly I’m talking myself out of buying a fucking Bedazzler!