she liked Imaginary Men best of all

Shut UP Celebrity moms!!

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I am not a mother so I don’t know what it is like to be pregnant or give birth or have the responsibility of another human on your hands for the rest of your life. But I’ve known plenty of pregnant women and it doesn’t always sound like a lot of fun. I also know from these women that after you have a baby – the first thing on their mind isn’t getting back to pre-baby weight as much as it is being happy that they actually got a shower that day.

So it is on behalf of those moms that I want to tell the Celebrity moms to STFU after they give birth. I loathe those People and Shape Magazine cover issues trumpeting so-and-so’s “Fabulous post-baby body! And how she got it back in just 6 weeks!” or Heidi Klum traipsing around in Victoria’s Secret in public right after having her latest kid. When you read these insipid articles they go one of two ways. Denial: oh it is from nursing! Oh it is all the carrying and lifting of the baby! Oh I haven’t worked out at all I’m too busy gazing at my baby and being so in love with the wonder of motherhood! Or they admit to submitting themselves to pretty punishing workout schedules and menu plans days after pushing a person out of their body.

These features make it look so easy to lose that pesky baby weight while neglecting to point out that celebrity moms have: nannies, trainers, personal chefs, personal assistants and a ton of other people to do everything little thing for them. I’m sure if all my new-mom friends had all that they too could fit in 4 hour workouts and grilled chicken and steamed vegetable lunches every day!

The fact of the matter is – celebrity mom’s entire career/lifestyle/income depends on them looking good. So it is in their best interest to get their ass back in gear and in size 0 red carpet wear ASAP. This is not the case for women who do not get fawned over/decimated by Stephen Cojocaru. Yet by plastering these images and stories of how EASY it is to get back in shape, how you too can balance motherhood with looking and feeling your best is just a way to remind the average woman that she is not Halle frickin’ Berry (which I’m pretty sure most women are fully aware of. For starters – whose husband looks like Gabriel Aubrey??)


Author: Amy H. Johnson

Amy H. Johnson is the author of The Fangirl Files a memoir about Boy Bands, TV Boyfriends and imaginary betrothals to 80s English pop stars. She prefers to be referred to as a "Cute Famous Boy Aficionado".

One thought on “Shut UP Celebrity moms!!

  1. AMEN! I’ve been avoiding all celebrity mom articles for the past 12 years 😉

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