she liked Imaginary Men best of all

It’s time to put on make-up, it’s time to light the lights

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I love the Muppets. Duh. Who doesn’t love the Muppets? (And to those who don’t I quote Craig Ferguson “and how long have you been in Al-Qaeda?”)

I adored The Muppet Show on Saturday evenings. I was always partial to the wackiness of Fozzy, the sweetness of Gonzo, the control-freak tendencies of Kermit. Maybe I saw a little something of my own personality in each of them as a child.

As an adult though I realized that if I have any Muppet counterpart at all it is Statler and Waldorf. You know the cranky old guys sitting in the balcony hurling insults and heckling the rest of the Muppets?

That is me and many of my friends actually. That is what we do! We sit and watch TV and snark on it and make comments and crack ourselves up. When I told it to friend who is also totally a S&W she said, “That sounds about right.”

Somehow this topic came up at work recently and I had to defend my Statler & Waldorf position. My colleagues didn’t think that was me at all, but that is because they’ve never watched TV with me. Sure I’m nice at work, but put me in front of a Cheesy Teen Drama with a love triangle in which I am passionately rooting for the side the producers don’t want me to take – and forget it I’m loud and rude (although I don’t often punch my viewing companion in the face like Waldorf here):

“That was a great number I don’t care what you say”

“I thought it was dumb”

“Maybe you’re right”

Author: Amy H. Johnson

Amy H. Johnson is the author of The Fangirl Files a memoir about Boy Bands, TV Boyfriends and imaginary betrothals to 80s English pop stars. She prefers to be referred to as a "Cute Famous Boy Aficionado".

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