she liked Imaginary Men best of all

The Wife and the Divorcee

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I’m visiting family in the town where I got married. My husband and I used to come here quite often to visit but since I’ve been separated I haven’t been down as often for a variety of reasons. But it is nearing a year and I’m about to be legally divorced so it is time to move on from this part of my married life as I’ve done in all other parts of my life already.

Two things I’ve discovered this weekend: Several of the places affiliated with my wedding have closed down. I know it is a bad economy and this town depends on a great deal of tourism dollars but I still find it ironic – the shop where we got our invitations is gone, the bed and breakfast where we spent our wedding night has been turned into condos, and our reception site is now several shops and offices. Walking in there today there was not a shred of the place it had been when we celebrated our marriage. That somehow seemed appropriate.

The other thing I realized is that for the past few years when I went into the little shops and the bigger stores here all I wanted was stuff for our home: decorations, bedding, furniture, anything ocean or seashell related (like our wedding theme). I was definitely nesting. The summer after we got married I was out of work and I was such a Susie Homemaker going to the Farmer’s Market each week and whipping up recipes in our wedding gift cuisinart and gleaming engagement present pots and pans. It was all about making our home lovely and comfortable and complete.

I went into those same shops today and had utter disinterest in any of the stuff that two years ago I would have wanted. Instead I was interested in items to complete my Halloween costume, travel stuff, scarves and purses. That is my new thing lately – scarves, purses and sunglasses! (I got Lasik this summer and don’t wear glasses for the first time in years and am excited I can wear actual sunglasses now and not stupid clip-ons.)

I have bought more bags and purses in the last few months than I have combined in the last several years. It is like what I want now is stuff for me to wear but not to live in. I am not home a lot these days and my house is pretty much the way I want. I no longer see things I wanted for us (“oooh seashell throw pillows!”) but things I want for me (“oooh orange rhinestone studded sunglasses!”) which I assume is just a natural part of the transition from being a wife to being a divorcee. And I am good with that.

Author: Amy H. Johnson

Amy H. Johnson is the author of The Fangirl Files a memoir about Boy Bands, TV Boyfriends and imaginary betrothals to 80s English pop stars. She prefers to be referred to as a "Cute Famous Boy Aficionado".

2 thoughts on “The Wife and the Divorcee

  1. I’m so sorry I didn’t know you were saying things to yourself like, “oooh, seashell throw pillows!” or I would have intervened earlier. 😉

  2. I know this feeling very well,I also worked so hard to be a good homemaker i forgot about me altogether,when i was separated, i also did things only for me what a concept,hope you enjoy this next part of life Amy.

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