she liked Imaginary Men best of all

Concert Etiquette

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I go to plenty of concerts. Not as much as I used to because my tolerance for dealing with parking, and annoying people, and $4 bottles of water that you can’t have the caps on, and Ticketmaster’s obscene fees gets ever shorter the older I get.

But when I do go – I go to have a great time. I stand and sing and dance and get my bathroom breaks and my snack breaks out of the way before the headliner comes on. However I seem to be more and more in the minority on this. Is it me, or do some people go to rock concerts so they can get up every 10 minutes to buy another beer and get nachos?

I do not get this. These tickets cost a lot of money. And when I pay that much money and the hassle of travelling and parking and getting frisked within an inch of my life – I want to see the band, I want to hear the songs, I want to enjoy every damn moment of being in the same room with the people on stage. I do not want you sitting down next to me the whole time like you are watching TV at home. I do not want you wiggling past me during the set. And you people next to us at Foxboro last week – do not F’ing interrupt my holy moment that is the start of Where the Streets Have No Name because you must have a hot dog at that very second.

My measurement of how good a concert was is how bad I feel the next day: if my throat isn’t scratchy from singing, my diaphragm isn’t sore from screaming, my legs aren’t tired from jumping around and dancing – it couldn’t have been all that. However, there seems to be a majority of people for whom the recap of “I spent $50 on beer at the Pearl Jam concert” is some sort of mark of a great show.

Stand up, sing the songs, applaud the band, participate in the concert-going experience with your fellow concert-goers, and for goddsakes stop going to get refreshments! If you can’t follow these simple steps, please stay home and blast the stereo really loud with a six-pack.

Author: Amy H. Johnson

Amy H. Johnson is the author of The Fangirl Files a memoir about Boy Bands, TV Boyfriends and imaginary betrothals to 80s English pop stars. She prefers to be referred to as a "Cute Famous Boy Aficionado".

One thought on “Concert Etiquette

  1. A big fat “YEAH” to North Carolina who not only didn’t sell liquor bc it was a college stadium, but let us keep the caps to our water bottles!

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